Yesterday morning, I walked into the kitchen and it occurred to me that the decorating schemes I love do not include the color yellow or plastic or kitsch. And yet, it makes me smile to see that giant inflatable duckie bathtub on top of my fridge. In pondering this, I realized, I’m a Mom. I still don’t necessarily feel like a Mom. But when I look around my house, I can’t avoid the fact that anyone who glimpsed past my front door would see that one lives here. Along with the said duckie, there are bottles, teethers, a swing, an exersaucer, a play-mat, tiny articles of clothing, a high chair, a monitor, the list goes on. So many garish (I’m speaking of the color schemes that baby things are manufactured in) examples of how my life has changed. The time that I wake up in the morning is determined by when I need to feed the baby. I plan my errands around her naps. It takes me five times as long to complete chores because I tote her with me and explain all the details behind my actions (“dust first, then vacuum or vacuum then dust, which should we do?”) I don’t sleep in anymore and going anywhere requires a mini luggage set. My life has become a study of sacrifice. Not that I always do things with the right attitude or motives or even do things at all, I am a work in progress. But some evenings I look back over my day and can see that in taking care of another, I am fulfilled. I have a new understanding of 1 Timothy 2:15 “But women will be preserved through the bearing of children if they continue in faith and love and sanctity with self restraint”. In notes I have written in my Bible, the word “preserved” also has the connotation of “finding meaning” and that we, as women, have our greatest achievement in bearing children. I can say without any hesitation, that the birth of Luca is one of the single most important events of my life. In addition, the oft quoted Psalm 127:3 “Behold, children are a gift from the Lord” has new significance. The full import of being a Mother is still settling in, and I know that I will have days when I don’t feel joy, meaning or satisfaction but I trust that God’s grace is sufficient. In the meantime, I am in awe of the gift of this baby and am so thankful that she has been entrusted to me, kitschy décor and all.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Motherhood Musings
Yesterday morning, I walked into the kitchen and it occurred to me that the decorating schemes I love do not include the color yellow or plastic or kitsch. And yet, it makes me smile to see that giant inflatable duckie bathtub on top of my fridge. In pondering this, I realized, I’m a Mom. I still don’t necessarily feel like a Mom. But when I look around my house, I can’t avoid the fact that anyone who glimpsed past my front door would see that one lives here. Along with the said duckie, there are bottles, teethers, a swing, an exersaucer, a play-mat, tiny articles of clothing, a high chair, a monitor, the list goes on. So many garish (I’m speaking of the color schemes that baby things are manufactured in) examples of how my life has changed. The time that I wake up in the morning is determined by when I need to feed the baby. I plan my errands around her naps. It takes me five times as long to complete chores because I tote her with me and explain all the details behind my actions (“dust first, then vacuum or vacuum then dust, which should we do?”) I don’t sleep in anymore and going anywhere requires a mini luggage set. My life has become a study of sacrifice. Not that I always do things with the right attitude or motives or even do things at all, I am a work in progress. But some evenings I look back over my day and can see that in taking care of another, I am fulfilled. I have a new understanding of 1 Timothy 2:15 “But women will be preserved through the bearing of children if they continue in faith and love and sanctity with self restraint”. In notes I have written in my Bible, the word “preserved” also has the connotation of “finding meaning” and that we, as women, have our greatest achievement in bearing children. I can say without any hesitation, that the birth of Luca is one of the single most important events of my life. In addition, the oft quoted Psalm 127:3 “Behold, children are a gift from the Lord” has new significance. The full import of being a Mother is still settling in, and I know that I will have days when I don’t feel joy, meaning or satisfaction but I trust that God’s grace is sufficient. In the meantime, I am in awe of the gift of this baby and am so thankful that she has been entrusted to me, kitschy décor and all.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
6 comments:
Wow, I have learned some new words. Must be all the reading you USED to do:). Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
I hear you...it is playland over here as well. Also, it is dust then vacuum in case you were wondering. Thank you for this post...we are so blessed to be moms, but we need God's patience everyday (at least I do)!
Very well said--thanks for sharing.
Amen, sister! Awesome thoughts for sure! :)
Do tell, why is the giant ducky up there? Also, the older they get, the smallest the toys tend to get, so there is light at the end of the tunnel...
Ah, Cristina, just saw your note. The duckie is on the fridge because we still do bathtime on the kitchen counter. That way I don't have to lean over the tub. I'm saving my back for as long as possible. ;-)
Post a Comment